Thank you, Sai for articulating this so well. I've been wanting to write something similar but was so consumed with rage that I just couldn't muster even a sentence. This is so eloquently put and must be shared far and wide. I am going to send it to my family WhatsApp group too. I know it'll receive silence there because "hawww, sex!" but we must start somewhere.
I am sorry women have to go through this because of us men.
I find myself nodding throughout this essay.
Regarding #10: When some 25 of us girls and boys were entering 11th grade, our school principal made a speech where he said, 'there is a time to eat breakfast, a time for lunch and a time to do dinner. Just like you don't eat dinner in the mornings, this is not the time for you to have sex.'
I have seen that girls and boys go in with very different notions of what dating is - thanks to their peer groups and the media they consume.
I feel it's necessary that parents and teachers talk to young people about dating. By not talking about it, we are not setting any expectations on what is good behaviour.
In an interview Virat Kohli credits Anushka Sharma for making him a better person. He tells the interviewer (Gaurav Kapur), 'You know how i was'. We all knew how he was and we got to witness his transformation.
It will do so much good for the young kids if someday Virat and Anushka can co-author a book or do a series of YouTube videos sharing how they got through this. Role modeling can be hugely impactful.
Organizations like Yuvaa is putting in efforts in this direction.
But then, it's not yet a national mission. For it to become a national mission, we will have to look into ourselves and identify the problem that is rape culture. Unless we identify this problem, we can't start working towards a remedy.
Yeah, we aren't going to change overnight, but I am hopeful the change we need will come. I am optimistic of younger people (in their early 20s or younger) taking a far healthier approach compared to previous generations.
Role modelling is impactful, yes. But too often, role modelling is again a burden women are unfairly burdened with. Whether it's Virat crediting Anushka for his transformation or Shahid saying marriage is about the guy being a mess and the woman coming in to fix him. And how the rest of his life is going to be a journey of him getting fixed and becoming a decent person thanks to his wife. Biwiyon ko baksh do role modelling se! Why do we have to role model good behaviour for men as well, bhai? :-)
Virat has to be the role model here since it's the men we are talking about. It's just that Anushka will have all the data on how he was and what worked for him to change for the better.
While we all have to work on our interior selves, we get a lot of feedback from the other person in the relationship, which is so important.
So i visualized it as an honest conversation between two people. Yes, we should be careful not to suggest that she changed him for the better. He changed himself for the better because he realised some things about himself. The relationship must have been an important part of it. There must have been other socio-cultural factors too.
Speaking for myself, I have understood so much from the Me-too movement.
Thanks for bringing these thoughts out. Point 13 is something I will do.
You are welcome - glad to see this resonate.
Thanks for articulating this so clearly and coherently
Thank you, Sai for articulating this so well. I've been wanting to write something similar but was so consumed with rage that I just couldn't muster even a sentence. This is so eloquently put and must be shared far and wide. I am going to send it to my family WhatsApp group too. I know it'll receive silence there because "hawww, sex!" but we must start somewhere.
Yes, family whatsapp groups are where these conversations must begin, we must keep trying until the ice breaks.
I am with you on the anger - I couldn't bring myself to coherently write about this until a few days ago. Much love, my friend. 💛
I am sorry women have to go through this because of us men.
I find myself nodding throughout this essay.
Regarding #10: When some 25 of us girls and boys were entering 11th grade, our school principal made a speech where he said, 'there is a time to eat breakfast, a time for lunch and a time to do dinner. Just like you don't eat dinner in the mornings, this is not the time for you to have sex.'
I have seen that girls and boys go in with very different notions of what dating is - thanks to their peer groups and the media they consume.
I feel it's necessary that parents and teachers talk to young people about dating. By not talking about it, we are not setting any expectations on what is good behaviour.
In an interview Virat Kohli credits Anushka Sharma for making him a better person. He tells the interviewer (Gaurav Kapur), 'You know how i was'. We all knew how he was and we got to witness his transformation.
It will do so much good for the young kids if someday Virat and Anushka can co-author a book or do a series of YouTube videos sharing how they got through this. Role modeling can be hugely impactful.
Organizations like Yuvaa is putting in efforts in this direction.
But then, it's not yet a national mission. For it to become a national mission, we will have to look into ourselves and identify the problem that is rape culture. Unless we identify this problem, we can't start working towards a remedy.
Yeah, we aren't going to change overnight, but I am hopeful the change we need will come. I am optimistic of younger people (in their early 20s or younger) taking a far healthier approach compared to previous generations.
Role modelling is impactful, yes. But too often, role modelling is again a burden women are unfairly burdened with. Whether it's Virat crediting Anushka for his transformation or Shahid saying marriage is about the guy being a mess and the woman coming in to fix him. And how the rest of his life is going to be a journey of him getting fixed and becoming a decent person thanks to his wife. Biwiyon ko baksh do role modelling se! Why do we have to role model good behaviour for men as well, bhai? :-)
Point taken :)
Virat has to be the role model here since it's the men we are talking about. It's just that Anushka will have all the data on how he was and what worked for him to change for the better.
While we all have to work on our interior selves, we get a lot of feedback from the other person in the relationship, which is so important.
So i visualized it as an honest conversation between two people. Yes, we should be careful not to suggest that she changed him for the better. He changed himself for the better because he realised some things about himself. The relationship must have been an important part of it. There must have been other socio-cultural factors too.
Speaking for myself, I have understood so much from the Me-too movement.